Staring me down.
Ready to tear me limb from limb.
What a bad fucking start.
(The x's are the ones I've already fucked up.)
xx-There will be no more love/lust for Cam'ron Tabatabai or Joe Benny.
x-There will be no more cheating on boyfriends.
x-There will be no more play time with Katrina Suzanne.
x-There will be no more lying to my parents.
x-There will be no more trusting in others.
x-There will be no more irresponsibility.
xxxxxxxx-There will be no more over-thinking.
x-There will be no more bad eating habits.
x-There will be no more epic proportions of laziness.
x-There will be no more borrowing money.
x-There will be no more splurging on commodities.
(The x's are things I've succeeded in.)
-There will be one man or woman in my life, at a time.
-There will be smiling. Lots of it.
-There will be freedom.
-There will be family.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx-There will be marijuana.
-There will be a job.
-There will be a car.
-There will be something new.
&& Hopefully, there will be a lot of Kurt Damare.
That last line tore my heart out.
Because I know that I meant it.
I know that I STILL fucking mean it.
There are so many things I need to get off my chest.
Because they are screaming obscenities in my ears.
Every demon I have I can picture with a face.
Does that frighten you? Can you handle it?
All of Kurt's friends love me.
WHY THE FUCK CAN'T KURT LOVE ME?!
I am really really lonely without you.
I'm really lonely when I'm with friends.
I'm really lonely when I'm home alone.
I'm really lonely on the computer.
I'm really lonely on the phone.
I only feel happy when I'm high,
or when you are talking to me.
Here are a few simple statements that can describe me:
- My heart is taken.
- I have no motivation to live other than Katrina Suzanne.
- I have no motivation to graduate.
- I have no urge to succeed.
- Weed is the only thing that makes me smile.
- I fuck with everyone's emotions for my sick-twisted pleasure.
- I'm legitimately crazy.
- I'm going to sleep with Kurt's close friend.
- I JUST GOT INVITED TO SMOKE WITH ERIC. :D